Are You Launching or Releasing Her?

I have two rambunctious, brown, adorable rescue dogs that are probably not working with a full deck if you know what I mean.  

One day one of our precious daughters left the gate open in the backyard, even though we had repeatedly said to check the latch when it closes on SEVERAL occasions [it’s ok, deep breaths].  

Well, when my dogs see an opening they go for it with everything they have and start an adventure or maybe just a curiosity mission.  Either way… they are gone!

Now, to understand them better, one is a rescue from a puppy mill and has food and space territorial issues, meaning “wherever I am is my space and whatever food is around me is MY food”, and the other was rescued from a church parking lot in a neighboring county with his achilles torn out and it is speculated that he was used as bait in a dog fighting ring that unfortunately exists in our state.  Tobin, the ex-fighter dog, is the sweetest pup that will sit on your lap and cuddle you all day long, doesn’t like to leave your side and sees every other dog outside of this house as a potential threat and will try and eat them before they eat him first.  It is an “fun” combo. 

We have done the training and tried all the things, but these animals are what they are and when we signed up for rescue dogs we signed up to rescue dogs and that is what we are doing.

But, then there is my neighbor, who has a gorgeous, trained, obedient, listening German Shepherd.  When their gate is open, he stays!  Or he slowly walks out, assesses the situation, lays in the sun and doesn’t put anyone or anything into harm's way… unlike mine who have almost caused car accidents, chased people, started West Side Story type street fights with other dogs (especially poodles) and thrown away our days many times as we scour the town and neighborhood for them.

You see, one of them (our dogs) were released and one was launched through setting them up for success!

I have found that my daughters are much better students than my dogs.

Thank goodness!

But what can we do to prepare them for launch into the world?

Well, like a anything else, we need to set them up internally for what they will face externally and it takes practice.  A training period, if you will.  Enter in adolescence.  

Now, is it a perfect plan that we are piling this “training zone” on top of hormones, school transitions, trying to own and navigate their faith, acne, a truck load of drama as brains are being constructed and while big life decisions and little life decisions that feel like big life decisions are being made? No.

But, this is where we are at-  the convergence of biology, psychology, faith and culture and all things adolescence and growing up at once.

This is why these years are so critical.  They absolutely will not be perfect and you are guaranteed turmoil, high emotions, confusion, some heart break, breakthroughs, big highs and big lows, but here is the thing…  It can ALL be used for good  [thank you Romans 8:28 for that reminder].

It can all be used to launch her into the world with a firm foundation of worth, esteem and confidence laid upon a rock solid bedrock of her faith and an understanding of how to be in and not of the world, her body and brain and her unique way that she learns and teaches to the world.  Her life will all be built on top of this foundation that you built for and with her in the 6570 (first 18 years)  and it will be a house on a hill [Matthew 5:14-16].

If this bedrock is missing some, or all, essential elements and her foundation isn’t carefully, lovingly and intentionally poured into her and built as unique as she is to fit her, then she is being released, and not launched, out into the world.

We have all seen it.  Many of us have lived it and it starts with chasing worth whenever you can find it and dealing with those consequences afterwards.  This can sometimes take decades or lifetimes.

But, the good news is.  It is never too late.

• If you are a parent or caregiver, influencer or impactor of a young woman in her 6570 (first 18 years) there is still time.
• If your child is over the 6570, but still within the 9125 (first 25 years) there is a beautiful grace and growth window to work with and build here.
• If your child is over the 9125 you can still open up in courageous vulnerability to the relationship you wish to begin with her.
• If you are a woman who didn’t have this built in you as a child, or had it stripped from you due to trauma, it can be built in you too [yes, even if you are trying to raise a daughter at the same time!].  

We are not “raising kids” and we are not “just surviving” through this experience.  We are using everything we have to build good and strong foundations centered in Christ so our daughters [and sons] can be launched into the world to positively affect it in the way only they were designed to. 

That is what we are doing here in The 6570 Family Project.  We are putting ideas and words like worth, esteem and confidence into action.  So, if you are reading this…

Let’s build.

(open the resource section , watch the masterclass and let's talk!)

“The best way to change the world is one living room at a time”

-Nellie H.