The PERFECT Gift for a Parent this year!
Wouldn't it be nice if a neatly packaged box of peace or freedom was under your tree this year?
I don't mean the trip to Aruba you've been secretly researching or the silent treks through Iceland's glaciers you daydream about (I keep hearing Iceland is a great place to go!). This isn't about escapism, but real freedom in where you are right now. Peace IN the chaos, IN the crazy, IN the mess, IN the drama and IN the inevitable hustle.
The trick is that you can not find this gift hidden in the unruly wrinkles of your tree skirt or in the bottom most hem of a stocking... this one you have to create and manufacture all on your own. Sorry, no elves for this one.
But, the good news is that you can always go to the Big Guy himself and ask for help. Nope, not that one. The real one. Our creator.
I heard a great message recently, when I honestly really needed to hear it most (love how He does that), about Phillip the evangelist in Acts. Our middle school youth director was telling us about the seasons of Phillip's work and how he:
1. Embraced his place
2. Got comfortable being uncomfortable and
3. Looked for opportunities without relying on outcomes
This really got me thinking about the in-depth conversations I have been having with many parents lately who feel out of place, misunderstood, taken advantage of and frankly dumped on and exhausted.
You can open the door to peace and freedom in this season by first realizing that this IS a season. It came and it will go and there are beautiful parts you will miss about it (I promise). Focusing on those ribbons of gratitude can be powerful and help you "embrace your place" right now. My daughter has a t-shirt that says, "Be the person your pet thinks you are" and I say... be the parent your future self will look back on and be proud of in this season of challenge and constant change. Too much for a t-shirt?
Being uncomfortable and having hard conversations is a staple of parenthood during the second part of childhood, but being comfortable being uncomfortable is a big ask. If you have multiple challenges or multiple children you parent or lead, uncomfortable can easily become an every day occurrence. It's ok. It is supposed to be. You are walking a tight rope between rescuing and letting go, guiding and praying and giving consequences vs. letting the natural ones play out. It is a balance act without a net and falling always hurts. This part isn't what you thought of when they were squishy and cuddly in your arms and you felt like they could never ever do anything to hurt you. No, but you are not alone. You are seen. You are heard. You belong exactly where you are and you are doing your best today. There is freedom in the permission to be uncomfortable.
Lastly, it is freedom to look for opportunities without the expectation of outcome. Keep showing up to do your part. In fact, it is all we can ever do when it comes to raising up messy humans. Results are not guaranteed, as much as we would like them to be.... as much as it can even hurt sometimes. There is a reason that the saying, "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" has been quoted for over eight hundred years. I give you permission to break free of the shackles of expectation. Sometimes, we just need someone to tell us.
So, this year, I am gifting you with a deep breath, a pause, a new perspective with a dose of freedom. Embrace your place in this season and the job at hand, befriend uncomfortable and look for every opportunity to guide, train, pray for and shine light into your child's life while doing your best to break free of expectation. It is not your burden to carry.
With a lighter heart and a brighter smile I hope you enjoy this holiday season and all the blessings it has to offer.
Merry Christmas.
Nellie H.
