The #1 Resume You Truly Need

I was doing some research earlier this week all about what we bring into relationships.  The research had all to do with workplace relationships and friendships, but it shined a new perspective into parenting and leading youth for me. 

The research begs the question…

What are each of us bringing into this parenting and leading role?

When you go for a job interview you need to supply a resume, even those first jobs my girls have gotten scooping ice cream and seating eager pizza patrons.  Why? Because everything you are bringing into this job is built on the experiences and opportunities you have taken in the past.  The funny thing about these kinds of resumes are that only the good stuff makes the list, but what if it were 100% brutally honest?

Maybe you would talk about the job you lost because you were late, the promotion you were held back from or even that business you tried to start that went south pretty soon after for a twisted knot of reasons.  But the truth is, these things, on the resume or not, come with you too. 

Becoming a parent and/or leader of youth is no different.  We have experiences, opportunities, triumphs and face plants all on the resume that says what we are bringing to this role.  Knowing these things helps us develop a deeper, richer sense of self awareness, which then helps us be a better parent, mentor, navigator and teacher for the adolescents in our lives.  We can know where to lean in and when to make a hard left because we have been down that path before and know where it leads.

If you were to create a Relational Resume you may see:

• Highlighted skills and relevant life experiences to help with the task or relationship at hand (in this case… raising a little girl into an equipped young woman ready to launch into the world)
• Work experience and certifications
• Education (both street smarts and book smarts)
• Personal traits, core values and core beliefs you bring (both those you want to keep and even those you want to work to extinguish)
• Hurts, Habits and Hang Ups that may come to life and create barriers or unwanted pathways.
• Strengths that will be useful in this role
• Hopes and outlooks for the future

To be an effective parent and leader of the next generation we need to know the good, bad, sweet and sticky parts of us that we are bringing to the table.  Knowing your grounded identity in Christ and the self-awareness that comes with understanding these areas above are the largest contributors to emotional intelligence and, like author Daniel Goleman says, "The most effective leaders are all alike in one crucial way: they all have a high degree of what has come to be known as emotional intelligence.".

I don’t know about you, but I have been given the responsibility of raising up these young women into capable young adults who know God, know their Christ given worth, have value in themselves and believe in the capabilities and gifts they have been blessed with, while being equipped with the knowledge and wisdom of how to use them.  That is a hefty and humbling task.  We talk a lot in this community about knowing your child, but the same goes for yourself.   The more I know about me, the more I know how I can effectively lead them. 

What is on your resume?