3 Quick Things Your Middle and High School Girl Needs From You Right Now!

Have you ever had a remodel in your home?  Nothing feels settled and there is always a mess.  You have to step over things, avoid sharp objects and discern what is ok and what is not constantly.

Well, your daughter, your student, your granddaughter etc. is undergoing major (internal) construction right now.  In her brain.  The tricky part is that every single one of them is different!  I have four daughters with 4 different brains, which means I need 4 different ways to parent, love, guide, shape and partner with them.

One of my daughters isn't a hugger.  Her twin?  A huge hugger.

All 3 of my youngest daughters are on the tennis team and when I am at a match how I talk, praise, cheer and guide each of them is different because they are.  Is it a tall order for us as parents?  Yup.  But, it was part of that invisible contract we all signed when we assumed the position of parent.

So, what are 3 things you can quickly put in a mental checklist that can fit every young woman?

1. Compassion in the trials and triumphs

2. Space to grow

3. Boundaries to flourish in

Now, how you deliver and express compassion, how much and in what areas you give space to grow in and the kinds and strength of the boundaries will be different girl to girl.  But, this checklist is a great launch point for the afterschool grumps, bad test scores, lost game/match, trouble with sibling or friend or any other matter of challenge that will come your way.  

The order is important too.  Compassion first, so they know they are seen and heard!  (remember those are 2 of the 5 pillars of worth she needs fulfilled by you first as she grows!)

Colossians 3:12, "Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience."

In the video above I give an example of how to use all 3 of these in a situation we had recently in our home.

Just like flowers on a fence are the compassion, space and boundaries she needs right now and you are loving and leading her to love and lead herself!

You have got this!